A Box Karaoke with Siao gang

Seems like it's now officially called the SIAO gang by me, SHinYee and ShiNee as all of us in the grp were siao and 38.. haha.. It's been a week after i came back from my hometown. since it was 九皇爷 i'm a vegetarian for the past 3 days and being a vegetarian here in Kampar, doesn't feel good at all..

3 days was actually very short when you were in Penang as you can find vegetarian food all over the place and it taste nice. But here in Kampar, 3 days feels like 3 years. haha.. i'm not joking, it is true. For the past 3 days, i've only had cup noodles.

Was supposed to attend a camp at Gopeng for the past weekend. but then end up didn't go coz i've got class on sat and cannot afford to skip 2 lectures and 2 tutorials for that day, furthermore, it's my fav language class, French. End up i stayed back here in Kampar and went to A box karaoke with them. Was a very tiring day indeed.





















Half way thru, my aunt called, and asked about my result. We talked about result, finance, and i finally couldn't stand anymore, i cried. I went out and talked to my aunt then i was sitting there alone at the stairs, letting my tears flow. I'm very sad. I still cannot let go that i cannot fulfill my promise towards my dad. I disappointed him again and again. My family never knew how hard i tried and struggled through my exam period. They never knew how much i suffered through out that time and it actually hurts me a lot when they say i always play and do not study for my exam.

I never fight back whenever my family nag me but then that day i told my aunt, "you all never seen me study and always say that i did not, but when i did, no one saw. I really put a lot of effort in my exam. I just couldn't control my tears. I stayed at outside for awhile and i finally went back in after washing my face.Then i kept quiet sat at a corner. I guess Kuang Sze saw, i guess i saw him telling Alex or someone next to him that i cried.. haha.. I was sstill sitting there quietly and bernice came to me. She talked to me and i finally cannot control anymore, I just broke down right in front of them.

I miss you so much Daddy.
How I wish you were here with me now.
How I wish you will be there for me when i needed a shoulder to lean on.
How I wish you were there to nag me or even scold me when you don't see me study.
How I wish you would be here, calling me occasionally asking me how's my life here in Kampar.
How I wish that day wasn't real and that you are still here beside me
How I wish I can still see you everytime I'm back in Hometown
How I wish to fetch you and drive you around with the car you left for me
How I wish...

But you are not here anymore. and I really miss you a lot.It's been years now and I still can remember very clearly the day you left us. I can still remember each and everyword you said. I can still remember each and every word I PROMISED YOu but then I disappointed you again and again.

It's a lifetime promise that i will never ever forget. You're the greatest guy that i've ever met in my life. Every time, when I'm sad, Down, Emo, Moody, You'll always be there for me, appeared in my dream telling me not to be sad.

I can still see you on the day I got my result, you came to me in my dream, telling me not to be sad that you are actually proud of me. I felt so ashamed of myself when i heard what you told me. I was praying hard that I could see you on that night, but you never came.

亲爱的Daddy,
你是不是生Tennee的气啦？
你是不是不再爱Tennee了？
对不起哦 Daddy，
我知道我每次都让你失望
我真的很没用
我所答应过你的每一个事我都做不到
你一定对我这个女儿很失望
我只会让家人担心.
什么事也帮不上忙
我真的很没用。。。。



v(^_^)v
~luv & hugs~muakss
*¦Têññêê a.k.a.*¦¢µ±!e_Gîr£¦* a.k.a §ümlvlèr ¦*