Saturday, May 29, 2010

I will survive

Slept at almost 6am today..and woke up at 10am..
My quote for today is A Brand new day with a Brand New Start
but deep down inside..
I asked myself..
Can I really do it?

I still wake up and hope that everything was just a dream
Though I finally can joke and laugh with my family
but when I'm all alone,
It starts to remind me of a lot of things

I was really tired yesterday..
but I just can't sleep
I have cried till no more tears flowing out from my eyes
and my eyes were so pain and tired..

and yeah..
I have received a lot of messages telling me to move on and to cheer me up..
Special thanks to Chen Yin who tagged me in a video
Thanks alot..appreciated it alot..
thanks for spending time with me despite your busy schedule..
You're the best.!!!

Despite all the wishes and supports from my beloved friends,
I am sure that there will be people who think that "What's the big deal with result? It's not like the end of the world or any other disaster"
Yea..I do agree with this..
I know that it is actually not a big matter
but I can tell u, even I myself, were shocked with the way I reacted..

Frankly speaking,
even with the jokes and laughters and fun I had with my family,
I am still very sad of it.
I have once again burdened my family..





2 hours more I will be departing to Genting with my mom le
Will be back on MOnday then will be going back to Kampar on Tues.
I hate this feeling
I need to have even more courage to face the truth especially when I'm back in Kampar

but anyhow,

Hope that you will also be ok.. don't be emo already yea..hehe..
Like what you said, you want to see smile de Tennee
I also want to see smile de you...
Though I don't know what happened to you,
but just wish you everything ok la.. ;p

here...the song for today..

I will survive..

~luv & hugs~muakss
*¦Têññêê a.k.a.*¦¢µ±!e_Gîr£¦* a.k.a §ümlvlèr ¦*

Friday, May 28, 2010

I don't know how to express the feeling I felt now
I am so so tired..
after crying for the whole day..
My heart felt so pain, and yet, I just don't know what I can do

I dare not tell my mom
I know she'll scold..but that's not what I'm worrying about
I am so scared that she will once again so so so worry about myself..
Once again being hurt by me..

I have once again disappointed you
I don't know what I can say
I know you must have been very sad

I really feel so helpless now..
can't eat.. can't sleep
and the hardest thing of all..
is to act like nothing in front on them

Went for dinner with mom and cousin bro just now..
I leaned on her..
and tears filled my eyes
I feel like crying again..
the same thnig happens when I'm writing this

I know cry couldn't help or change anything
but I just can't help.. but to cry..
tears filled my eyes automatically every time there's a topic about studies or exams and even results..
The history is happening again..
and now..this is even worse than what i've felt and gone through that time
No more PTPTN loan for me..
How can I survive?
Even I worked part time there..
the salary will not be enough for my rental, bills, and also petrol..

I felt so lonely here..
I wanted to find someone to talked to..
a shoulder to lean on..
or at least someone to listen to me..
to cry out loud..
to scream out loud...


I wanted to go for a walk so much..
Wanted to go to the beach..
but.. Who can I go with?
I'm all alone..
and yeah..
My mom wouldn't let me out alone at night + drive alone at night..
what's more if where I wanted to go is to the beach?
even more dangerous for a girl to be there alone..


it's like the lyrics from Taylor Swift's Teardrops on my guitar
"I fake a smile so he won't see"
but mine is THEY instead of he..


although this is a love song..
but anyhow, hope you guys will enjoy the song la..

or maybe this is a better song??
Westlife + Lee Hom's You raised me up

~luv & hugs~muakss
*¦Têññêê a.k.a.*¦¢µ±!e_Gîr£¦* a.k.a §ümlvlèr ¦*

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Melody of Love + Shining Friends outing

Lay Mei is finally back in Penang..
Therefore, Lay Mei, Sin Mei, Chuin Pei and I meet up at Prangin coz Sin Mei wanted to get her hp batt from a friend who's working there..
It's been so so so many years since I was last in Prangin..
Never been there after I've graduated from high school..
or maybe yea..I used to be there every Fri? coz I was working and will need to visit the Guardian and Watsons outlet at Prangin..

Left Prangin at about 4 something and joined Reith for the Melody of Love concert at Dewan Sri..
Well, since I will be out till late,
therefore, I did not drive, as my mom don't like me to drive alone at night..
and guess what??

after so so so many years since i last took bus... even longer than my last visit to Prangin..
and this was the first time ever in my life for taking a Rapid Penang..
I don't even know which bus I can take to get back to my home..
Luckily getting down to Komtar is much more easier.. any bus will do.. ;p

ok.. so we went to Dewan Sri for the Melody of Love concert..and took some pictures..hehe... A few new singers..and the local and more well known ones were m-girls, Andrew and Candy Cheah(Xie Wan Ting)..
and yea... I won the lucky draw.. sponsored by some of the sponsors...
Didn't get the prices given at first..
Thought, wouldn't be that lucky..
mana tau.. really are the pictures..hehe..


饭团 a.k.a. Rice... he's good



Candy Cheah

Andrew..lucky draw session

~luv & hugs~muakss
*¦Têññêê a.k.a.*¦¢µ±!e_Gîr£¦* a.k.a §ümlvlèr ¦*

Saturday, May 15, 2010


Today was a very very busy day for me..hehe...
Slept at 4am yesterday and woke up at 0930 today..
fetched my mom to market and went to buy things..
till 4 pm only reach home..hmmm..damn tired..
and get ready for dinner...
soup, dishes.. Bernice, Wah and Sharon is coming over for dinner tonight..
here are the pictures..hehe..

and after that get ready to go out.
went over to Autocity as friends were there..
and Kenny was here with us as well..
At first didn't plan to club..but Bernice wanted to I accompanied her..
but well.. I admit that I did ENJOY!!hehe..nice outing with you guyss.. <3

and here..this is the song for today..hehe..

Had a great night...time for me to get some rest...

~luv & hugs~muakss
*¦Têññêê a.k.a.*¦¢µ±!e_Gîr£¦* a.k.a §ümlvlèr ¦*