Most of us here have always heard of women abused, child abused, animal abused, but how many of us do really think of men abused?when i am typing this, it really made me think, and seriously it really does scares me with some of the pictures or stories i'd found from the net.
Well, while i was looking for more information about this topic, i came with this picture..
this is not a true photo of someone being abused..but it was something i found in the net which really attracts me and yea...it is meaningful and he's right. this guy is known as me-morphosis in the flickr account.. yea...ppl might think that why is the body so strong and with such a small stain of red mark to indicate the person is hurt or abused... but according to him, this is just the way he wanted.. he says that it is actually the misconception the post is attemping to put across.. One doesn't need to look weak or fragile to be a abused victim.. he then continued by saying any person,could be a victim of abuse regardless of age,gender,race,social status and even pphysical attributes,
any one can be harmed or injured or even abused in anyway...but why people just do not try to open their eyes to see the real world out there??or mayb think a lil bit out of the small small box of them>>why must it always be men who abused women??or the victims must always be women or children??anyway..this is his post below...
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"Men are battered by bad press, they too are the victims of Domestic Violence, they hurt and they bleed, the difference is...society does not accept men as victims.
This is a few emails sent to Heart2 Heart, a support group for male domestic violence victims.
To whom it may concern,
I have been verbally and psychologically battered and abused, I've been threatened with bodily harm, I've been threatened to be shot right between the eyes, I've been kicked in the groin, I've had to watch while my ex sexually molested my daughter and not dare interfere for fear of retaliation.
Then 1 day, while my ex was grabbing and hurting my daughter, I reached out and grabbed her, telling her to stop. Well, there ended up being a red mark on her neck. She called 911 so fast and had me arrested, my head was literally spinning with disbelief. When trying to tell the officer that I was provoked and that she was hurting my daughter and that I was protecting my daughter, he told me that I had better keep quiet, I'd charge you with a felony if I could, he said.
We met at a singles get together in July, 1995. She seemed very friendly and outgoing and liked a variety of activities. We began dating, and in a few months we were getting pretty serious. In December, 1995, we became engaged. In March, 1996, when we went to get our Marriage License, she informed me that she wasn't 'officially' divorced, and had to file those papers first, then we could apply for the Marriage License. She never mentioned to me that she wasn't divorced or free to marry....I was a bit shocked. We went ahead with the wedding in April, 1996. Right before the wedding started, her friend Susan whispers in my ear that she would kill me if I did anything to her. I thought the comment was a bit inappropriate, but I smiled at the cameras as I walked down the aisle.
Just a few weeks after the wedding is when the big change seemed to appear. I had 10 acres of land that I lived on for 6 years. I was in the process of building a house on it when I met her. And it so happened that I had completed it just in time for us to move into a brand new house. Two months into the marriage, she becomes pregnant. What should have been an extremely joyous celebration for us, was tainted by the fact that she chose to take the EPT (early pregnancy test) at work with her boss and friends instead of with me, and only when I noticed an used EPT, that she told me that the test was positive.
At first, she adored the house and the country setting. But soon, she began complaining of the design......"I sure wouldn't have done it this way". She started complaining of the 50 mile drive to work. She started bad-mouthing the neighbors. Then she started bad-mouthing the land, then the local church, it's members, the music, the smell of the church. Then it was me. After she insulted and degraded everything that I built, my friends, the church.......I guess it was my turn. I was stunned at first, just trying to understand what could be going through this woman's mind. She no longer would do any housework. I would get up at 5 am just to do laundry, clean the floors, clean the toilets, sweep the porch, feed the cats, and get breakfast ready for us. I wouldn't go to bed until 12 midnight, because she wanted me to do extra things around the house, like change the light fixtures, change the electrical outlet color, paint cabinets. Soon I decided to hire a housekeeper once a week to help out. Now I'm lazy, because I won't do the housework.
In October, 1996, she was about 4 months pregnant, she informed me that she is moving out and getting a divorce unless I sell the house and move to her hometown 60 miles away. All during these months, I was keeping my mouth shut, trying to be the good and understanding husband. She now reveals to me that she works out with police officers, practices regularly at shooting guns. She tells me that she will have me killed or better yet she will shoot me between the eyes herself because she is a sharpshooter. She says that she doesn't believe in wounding a person.....she would shoot to kill. I have no response to this except to say that I don't believe in guns or violence, but I would just try to defend myself the best I can. She says that she would hunt me down wherever I was and "take care" of me.
You may be asking me why did I stay in this relationship of threats. Well, my answer is that I believed in the bonds of matrimony, and since she was pregnant, I would tolerate this as long as possible. Yes, I probably was a bit naive......but I was trying to keep loving this woman. Yes, I was depressed at this time and sought counselling. The counsellor was understanding, and said, try to keep your chin up, it won't last forever. So I stayed in the relationship, constantly being bombarded with insults like, "you're worthless, you're a quitter, you're a loser, you're stupid, so fucking stupid". What was I supposed to do? I had already been through a divorce, I didn't want another one. I wanted a family, not a war zone, but what was I to do? I know how men are looked at by society. Men don't dare accuse a woman of threats or violence, or they'll be ostracized by the world.
Well, I sold the house. The very next week, she secretly, while I was asleep, takes the child in the middle of the night and moves 60 miles away, claiming that she was kicked out with only the clothes on her back. The attorney and judge give her everything she wants, and I don't even get to see my daughter. Nearly every single visitation, I was insulted and degraded in front of my daughter. On the day mentioned above, I go to pick up my daughter. The ex yanks her out of my arms, twisting her legs and making her cry. She then kicks me in the groin. I grab hold of my daughter with one arm, and grab my ex with my other hand on her neck. I tell her to stop hurting the child. She kicks me again in the groin, I fall to the ground, my daughter falls, too, and my ex falls on top of me. She kicks me again. Being stupid as I've been told, I get up, help her up to the sofa, pick up my daughter to see if she is ok (she is, thank God). I tell her that I should just go.....sorry that all this happened. 911 is called and arrives within minutes. I tell my story, she tells hers. I get the handcuffs and a ride to jail for 48 hours. Now I can't see my daughter at all. The police don't believe me, the judge doesn't, and I can see in the faces of others that all this is questionned also.
I would like to stay anonomous if possible. This is a terrible injustice.
I have 2 police reports of Communication Threats, I have a Sprint Carolina Telephone File on 7 harassing telephone calls. I approached the magistrate with this. This woman magistrate told me that there was nothing to do because I waited too long. A days later, I approached another magistrate, a man. He sent me to a shelter for the abused for a Restraining Order and possible criminal charges. The lady at the shelter said that she appreciated all the work it took me to gather all this information, but there was nothing that she could do because between the police reports and the telephone file, it was several months. But she did say that she would keep my name on file for the future.
So now what do i do? Tell my story in hopes that others may see that this really does happen to men...that there truly is gender discrimination. I'm almost at the point of going public, even at the risk of being humiliated by many.
So I ask again.......what do I do?
Email Excerpt: My wife became very angry and she attacked me with a set of Porsche Keys - maybe three inches long. She stabbed me thirteen times. As I was trying to leave, she took our daughter and tried to throw her down the steps.
Email Excerpt: I believe if this got around, there would be a stigma. Some embarassment toward ex wives and present lovers. I don't want my kids to hear these stories, or to have others in their world, discussing me regarding this issue.
Email Excerpt: I still don't understand why I stayed in that relationship as long as I did. I quess it was because she was such a great girl in every other way and I hoped she would change. I'm never going to go back into that kind of insanity again.
Email Excerpt: Funny, at the time I told myself I deserved it.
Email Excerpt: I was awarded temporary sole custody of my three children and possession of the marital home. My ex-wife was in shock and refused to leave ... Her attempts to provoke an incident increased. Finally one morning she cornered me alone in the kitchen and again began to punch me out after a nasty verbal exchange. Unfortunately, my 10 year old son witnessed this episode through a window while he headed for his school bus. I did not strike back. My ex then left and went to the police.
Email Excerpt: I was abused too many times and decided to end the relationship many times but I was unable to do so. Because she followed my each and every move and I was reluctant to file stalking charges against her because I did not want to hurt her feelings. The abuse intensified, she did not hesitate to hit me ... She also clawed me numerous time and even cut me with a knife. I was again failed to report the incidents to the authority. Many times she had threatened me that if I bring any charges against her, she would not hesitate to bring false charges against me ...
Email Excerpt: Her definition of the proper way to conduct an argument was to slap me around until I stopped disagreeing with her. ... However, I was willing to put up with it for the sake of her kids...at least until she started endangering them.
Email Excerpt: She screamed:
"I have never forgiven you for the way you looked at me the first time I hit you."
"How did I look?" I asked.
"You looked hurt and shocked and angry and disgusted."
"How should I have looked after you hit me?" I asked.
"I needed for you to understand how I was feeling at that time. I needed your support, not your anger," she said.
I understood then why she had never apologized for that act of violence or for any of her many other violent assaults.
Email Excerpt: She was brassy, outspoken and told me she liked "big guys". I'm 6' and weigh in at 230. She held a knife to my throat and told me to get out of the apartment. I would not dare move because I thought she would kill me....she would tell friends very publicly why sex with me was difficult. She would later say it was meant to be a compliment...kidding about the size of my genitalia. I wasn't laughing. Every success I had was met with derision. Daily my shirts were ripped....my face was slapped...I was kicked....I was locked out. There was nothing I could do to make a difference. [After I left] she has told me repeatedly, "You're the only person who really understood me." The face I see as she speaks is still the one who held the knife. "
for more information, click here..
source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/trans-formation/137601969
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~luv & hugs~muakss
*¦Têññêê a.k.a.*¦¢µ±!e_Gîr£¦* a.k.a §ümlvlèr ¦*
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